Breadwinners Review/Transcript
Buhdeuce: 'SwaySway! '''SwaySway: '''Buhdeuce! '''Buhdeuce: '''Do a barrel roll, man! '''Peppy Hare: '''Do a barrel roll! Hey, remember when I called this show the worst cartoon that's ever been made? Heh...I-I really do wish that this was still in like...the top 20 or so of worst cartoons that I've ever seen...uhh...but it-it's not, I-I've seen ''way ''too much shit. Honestly though, this is another one where I don't really know where to begin. This is one of the shows that I gave a review way back when, during my first Nickelodeon marathon as it were. And uh, while it probably isn't as bad as I originally said, time has not treated this show very well. Oh, it was bad when it first came out, but ''Breadwinners ''has aged like a rotting corpse. The main characters are completely indistinguishable from each other; two idiots making trouble for everyone around them. At least this time they actually have jobs, I will give them that. So on some level they contribute to ''some ''kind of society. The reason why I don't know where to begin with this one is because I'm going to have a hard time talking about this show without repeating myself or everyone around me. These ducks? They look like frogs. There is no way around it. They look like frogs and it would not be too much of an issue to fix. Just put some feathers at the end of their hands! Give them webbed feet instead of shoes! Or a cone for a beak! No, they gotta animate a bump for their butts instead, because that's what the show is all about, it's about butts. And I can see why they like to throw in photoshopped images of ducks and bread. Because they can't ''draw ''ducks or bread. I get that it's some kind of stylistic thing, but it just crashes and burns. This show goes with a lot of video game references. You hear video game sound effects a lot. Even in the intro, they say to do a barrel roll. It really clashes with the show's style because the show doesn't have a style. What you'll notice if you look deeper into it is the actual frame rate of the show is terrible. The characters kinda move like characters did in retro video games, from "pose to pose" very jarringly, but because these characters are ''clearly not pixelated, it looks terrible. Like this show wasn't even finished. If I can be nice somewhere, I will say that this show has a really nice color palette. I like the greens and the blues that they've chosen and it certainly helps the visual direction. These are some vibrant colors...but that's all the nice I have to say about this show unfortunately. The show follows Buhdeuce and SwaySway. There is no way I can get around this; those sound like euphemisms for '''shit. "I took a 'buhdeuce' this morning and now it's starting to 'swaysway.'" That shouldn't fit in so well, it should not sound so accurately. I mean, it's better than say, Pickle and Peanut were both names were slang for male genitalia. But this show is just trying way ''too hard to pander to kids. They use a lot of language to show that they're "hip with the youngins"! You know, language that no one has ever used before. You know, ''ever, like..."scrope that loaf!", or "you smell like a butt's butts!" Kids don't talk like this. Aliens '''don't talk like this. No one talks like this. Some people like to complain that this show is about ducks delivering bread. If you don't know this, ducks cannot eat bread. If you give them bread, they will most likely choke to death. Uh, so don't do that. If you've been feeding ducks breadcrumbs, you probably shouldn't be. You know, unless they look anything like a ''Breadwinners duck. Then you'll be better off putting them out of their misery. But it's really not something worth complaining about. Chances are, if an animal has an association with some kind of food in cartoons, it will probably kill them in real life! Cats for instance, in every single cartoon ever, it's shown that cats love ''milk. In real life, '''all cats are' lactose intolerant, and the best thing that you can hope for in giving a cat milk is diarrhea. I can't repeat this enough; do not give a cat milk. Carrots are actually pretty low on a rabbit's favorite food list. They'll probably starve if you gave them only carrots. They like leafy greens. Like lettuce. And you catch way more mice with peanut butte''r''' than you do with cheese. And I guess that's also accurate about Food Fight!, where the main character, Dex Dogtective liked raisins. Dogs can't eat raisins! It will kill them! Raisins are as poison for dogs as chocolate is. So I don't get complaining about this ''aspect of ''Breadwinners, because, in a very real sense, this is the only thing that Breadwinners ''has anything in common with an actual real cartoon. I was really harsh on ''Breadwinners ''when this show came out. I mean back then, I did overexaggerate the anger towards shows. Like, I think the only show that ever ''actually put me in physical pain was The Problem Solverz, and it wasn't because it was poor quality or anything. It was because of the ''actual eye strain ''that show gave me. Keep in mind, I-I do hate this show. A lot. I don't think that this is the worst ever made, I've seen...way too much since I've seen this. I mean, even Sanjay and Craig at this point, it's worse than Breadwinners. But let me be clear; I still do think that this show is horrendous. I still do think that this show is worse than Allen Gregory, if for anything that Allen Gregory ''lasted only 6 episodes and this one lasted for 70. ''Breadwinners ''is also aimed at kids, but in a sense, they're both on the same wavelength. ''Allen Gregory ''wanted to appeal to adults and used every single pandering trope that it could. It took a look at what other popular shows were doing at the time, sanded off any sort of quality and just used the tropes that they thought was hip with its audience. You got a lot of gay jokes in ''Allen Gregory ''because that was popular in ''Family Guy. And you got a lot of butt jokes in Breadwinners because Spongebob ''had more than a few of em. The humor here is not only so basic, but it just drags on forever. It's one thing to have a joke that's not funny; it's another thing to just ''linger on it. And Breadwinners ''does it more often than not. I mentioned this show was number one in the ratings back when it first came out, somewhat over-dramatically, and I have to assume that that was just a marketing ploy. Not because the show is crap, but because it basically disappeared not too long after I reviewed it. I mean when's the last time that you've ever heard of ''Breadwinners, even as an "infamous cartoon"? People will still talk about The Problem Solverz ''or even ''Planet Sheen. They don't talk about Breadwinners. Because when you get past all of it, there really isn't much here. The characters are cutouts, and the premise isn't very interesting. "Two guys doing a wacky fantasy job" isn't something unique. You can get that experience watching Chowder. Then you've got the "magical genie friend." Still...not much there. They got a rocket van, well, so did Jimmy Neutron. And that's all they have to sell you. And when, all a show has to sell you is things you already have, why buy? The world of Breadwinners ''wants for a lot of creativity too. The show takes place in like this...duck, pond planet called Pondgea? But there really is no meaning difference between it and reality. I know that they mine for bread and not gold in the mines, but, i-it's still a mine...with nothing fantastical about it. You-you can go to mines in the real world a-and see them. And the houses...they don't look like birdhouses or nests. They just look like typical houses that I could find across my own street. I-I guess it's more than the Breadwinners not looking like ducks; they don't ''act like ducks either. At least Daffy Duck got hunted once in a while. This show is like a mashup where none of the pieces go together at all. And don't get me started on the stories that they tell. Most of them, I can't remember. And when it comes to episodes like "Love Loaf," I don't want to remember. In the modern day and age, it's hard not to make "date rape" analogies when it comes to the "love potion" story, so, I-I do want to be a little bit nice going back, but, the way that they animated SwaySway's eyes as he tries to force this thing down his love interest's throat, it is legitimately disturbing and wrong. It's just one of those things that you shouldn't have to tell a grown adult-it's one of those things that you shouldn't have ''to tell grown adults that they shouldn't put in their show. Like the suicide jokes from "Are You Happy Now?", or pretty much everything on ''Powerpuff Girls 2016. Speaking of which, this show seems to have an influence on Powerpuff 2016, and that's not for the better. Like I said though...Breadwinners ''is not the '''bottom of my barrel anymore, I have watched much much worse since I initially watched this show. But, that says more about other cartoons than it does say about Breadwinners. 'Announcer: '''Next on Nickelodeon... ''(One second clip of Pig Goat Banana Cricket) (End Credits Theme: "Do a Barrel Roll" by Pianosketcher) Category:Nick-o-Rama Category:Transcripts